what its like in my head

Sometimes,i really hope that i can forget people who gave me heart ache,and those who hurt me a lot of times,but if they are the people you love,you care,how could i?I tried to wake up from this beautiful nightmare.But i couldn't.Many memories has been made even when i don't mean it at all.This nightmare are my hopes,and it is also my misery.And in real life,i really hope i could keep my distance from you and say "i love you" when you're not listening.How long can i keep these three little words that i want to say to you all by myself?Its not that i hope for anything hard!I just hope that you will never forsake me,neither would you retaliate my love for you.My biggest fear is to lose you! But would you ever realise that?I know that..i m not your lover.Not fit enough to love you,not good enough to be with you,i know that,im just someone that you turn to when you don't have anyone to pull you up when you're upset,i believe patience can change you,i know that.I die a little to see you look so happy with someone else but not me.I hear the beat of my getting louder when i see you with someone else.I am breaking,to see you looks so happy together,cause silently i wish it was me.I really hope that,after im gone from your life.You will lead a better one and never remember me.You dont even believe me when i say that i could be your strength.So dont blame me when i run from your needs.Because to you i m just someone who gives you trouble and perhaps one day you are my misery.