Mad and im a deceiver

to tell you guys..honestly I AM A DECEIVER!
i lie!
And im mad at myself for lying to the person im stuck with now. Tell melah..can you force your feelings??
the answer is NO!!!
I hate the fact that i can't be with the one i love but stucked to the pass!
I sucks! I know! Is it just me or is there something wrong with my god forsakken life im leading?
Its a crappy and a dull life!
Fcuk! im dead! honestly my life's a mess. my mind is completely wrecked and i can't think straight!
As if i've done something good.
But you know what, I feel like running away from all my problems. Away from the life im living. And most of all away from this place. I never regret meeting anybody here except for a bunch of lollipop sucking bitches and a few annoying people in life! Ah shit! What the hell am i babbling?
but sriously..fo those i deceived, im sorry..sometimes..i just dont know whats wrong with me and i know,i acted like a bitch!
well sometimes.
Its just that...oh come on
Cubalah kau mengerti....aku taknak ini semua berlaku
tapi kadang kadang aku pun tak tahu kenapa aku kene buat pilihan yang salah sedangkan aku dah tahu risiko dan kesudahan cerita kita!
aku tahu aku salah...jadi maafkan aku!
For give me once again cause i wanna go my own ways.
I hope that i can go somewhere far! Far from my dissapointments
Far from everything that hurts me
and farfrom all the person i know and loved cause i cant bear to be the reason for each of your tears rolling on your cheeks.
I am brave enough to let you guys go when the fact i will not be okay and i am gonna die. do forgive me..even if you are not willing to let me go..just hope for the best for me. and if i think i should come back when all my wounds on my heart is recovered..probably i will be back.but thats not a promise....
you know me but you dont know what i have been through.what pain events had i faced. try walk in my shoes...and you will understand me better!