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Thursday, December 1, 2011

I am gone

kalau tengah emo baru bace yer nanti tak ada feeling....

Sorry that I have to leave you now. You hurt me enough. For now, you are in the care of my prayers. I am never mad or frustrated for all those things that happened. The fight. The quarrel. The crying and the tears. Sorry that I have to forget you. That is not my actual intention. But you made me. I am sorry for making you disappointed with my actions. I hope you would forgive me before I go from your life. Let me through my life alone. Without your shadows protecting me. Without your protective shield that keeps me away from danger. But most of all, without you who always help when I got myself into a huge mess. Also i want to learn to be independent. I don't want your help. I don't want your guidance. I don't want your sympathy. also, I want to learn to be independent. I want to face it alone. I may need you, but I won't! I hate to admit that I can't live without you! I hate to think that I can't continue life without you. I hate to admit that i am lousy without you. I hate to think that I am so un-independent of you. I hate myself  for loving you. For now, I keep on saying that I am going to start back at zero. Without you! I promised myself not to cry when you go. But even a liar like me can't lie to my own feelings. You come into my life when I feel that I have no hopes. You save me from my own thoughts. Now you are part of my life and I can’t ignore you neither can I forget you. Memories that we shared is very precious. But now is the time for me to let you go. When you have to leave me, please let me go easily from your life. Don't tie me down. If you love someone else so much, then, go! Ignore me now. Let it hurts now than never. You come so fast and easy. But when you go, why must it be difficult and slow? You're mysterious and it's hard for me to read you! You come and go! when you need me, I am always by your side. But then you throw me away. You know that I can't let go off the memories.

It's not that I don't love you,
I just don't want to hurt you. I can't let go off the good times we shared together.
I hate to be cold, but i have to let you go.

You are self-centred. You destroy all my dreams, hope and love. But know want thing. I still love you all my heart. Even when it hurts and I don't have the heart but I am sincere enough to let you go. Because I am just a human being that makes many mistakes in life. And you are one of the mistakes that I never regret. Nothing's easy and I hope you understand it. the memories can't be compared. I know it will take a while. Understand that it's not that don't love you. I just don't want to hurt you anymore. Till then, we will meet again, and I hope that time, I am strong enough to face you! Bye


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