Perasaan yang dipendam

Tak semua kau rancang akan berlaku

Mungkin nasib tak menyebelahi aku

Entah mengapa engkau yang aku cinta

Mungkin lebih baik kau ku lepas saja..

Oh ini tidak adil tidak adil baginya

Ini tidak adil tidak adil bagiku

Ini tidak adil untuk kau bertanya jika aku mencintaimu juga

Tidak adil tidak adil baginya..

Kau tak pernah cuba memahami aku

Cinta kau ucap tak pernah engkau tunjuk

Dan bila tiba saat ku kehilangan

Beban yang tak pernah kau cuba ringankan..

Oh ini tidak adil tidak adil baginya

Ini tidak adil tidak adil bagiku

Ini tidak adil untuk kau bertanya jikaku mencintaimu juga

Kau bukan milikku..

Dan aku memang penakut

Mengakui cinta kepadamu

Seribu kali ku cuba ucapkan

Bila bersamamu

Kau bukan milikku

Dan engkau pun tahu

Kau bukan milikku..

So nampak tak lirik tu? Well itu yang aku rasa sekarang. Huhu. Aku ni memang serabutkan? Tahu dah, tak perlu ingatkan! Hahaha. Hmm Dah berhabuk jugak blog aku ni rupanya. Lama sudah aku tak update. Bukan taknak update, tapi sibuk ngan sekolah! Eh? "18 tahun pun masih sekolah ke?" hek eleyh sangat! Memandangkan aku ni genius sangat, aku masuk form 6 okay! Jangan tanya kenapa! Hahahaha. 

Ok ini bukan motip utama aku menulis blog okay! Sebenarnya aku masih serabut. Fikirang aku bercelaru. Banyak benda yang aku fikirkan sebenarnya. Ok mungkin korang akan cakap, asal tulis blog jer, mesti pasal kau sedih. Agaklah wey, kalau bukan kat blog ni, kat mana lagi aku nak tulis? Takkan nak conteng kat tembok belakang lorong CS? Haiyaa!

Jadi, kisahnya bermula dengan salah paham. Huwargghh nak tulis pun aku rasa sedih nak mati! Okay, jawab soalan aku.

              "Apa perasaan kau kalau orang yang paling kau sayang tak endahkan kau?"

Mestilah jawapannya kau rasa diri kau macam tak cukup bagus, fikiran bercelaru, terbayang bayang apa yang telah terjadi. Kan kan kan? Mengaku jerlah! Hmm...

Aku pun dah kehilangan kata kata, nak menaip kisah sedih aku ni. Sebab makin aku ingat, makin sedih aku jadinya. Hahaha...Aku ni memang serabai. Macam nak tak nak jer bercerita. lol -...-' 

Hmm

Siapa kata pujuk orang susah? Pujuk orang lagi senang dari pujuk hati sendiri tahu tak!

I've seen some pictures, and it made me feel like "Do you really wanna get rid of me out of your life?"

I really dont wanna see you anymore. Enough! Idk why after 2 years,it turned out to be this?

You rarely talked to me. So, lets see...I am gonna make you hate me and forget bout me!

After the years, you build me back after my sorrows destroyed me, you wanna destroy me again?

Good!

I should have known! It was just a game, after you get bored of me, you will leave!

I just hope, you have a nice life and may karma serves you what you deserve!

Mine

I am weird

Yeah, I am weird, annoying and a lil bit dumb.. but why do you still wanna be friends with me?
Is there any valid reasons? i've been pushing people away from my life because i am dissapointed with my life. What I want, I cant get and its stressing the hell of me! Just answer me!


k fine..im weird..bye

I don't want to know anything!

If it's the last thing i'll do, I wouldn't even want to know you!
I better be off with shattered tears! Obviously,for the pass few years,we've changed!
And I changed too! I don't want to know anything!
Let it just be our pass.. Not because I hate you or anything! To tell you honestly...
my ego is higher then the empire states of mind.And i don't wish to exaggerate  it any further!

Reasons why I remain single

I am not forever alone! Mind that! Now the only reason i remain single is because there are lots of jerks out there! What the hell? Can't you be like more loving,romantic, funny and stop being so annoying and hypocrite? Okay that's not my main point! But first of all...let me tell you the reason why i am single!

#1. Jerks

Okay after a few years of dating.. I dunno why i keep dating jerks! Okay maybe they are good looking and etc! But I just cant understand why are they pretty dumb!

#2. If i can find a bunch of hot guys like them!!

Jack and Finn Harries
P.s: Credits to Belle!

Shout to guys out there who are hot like them, then probably, you can sign up to be my lover...Hahahaha...
I am not joking..
And to the girls, out there, if you're single, and your parents keep asking when are you getting a boyfriend, then shove Jack and Finn's picture and say, "If i can't find hot guys like this, I ain't getting any boyfriends.."


So i bid you good luck!

I will

Sometimes..i do think you.should not blame me for everything that's wrong. It is not entirely my fault.
I may be the one who can make things right. You blame me for every word that came outta of my mouth, 
every quote and every sentence. But do you ever realize that what i say is mostly because of your behavior,actions towards me. Probably im not the right person to say all this. 
You are the reason of my sorrows. And you the one who gave me so much to remember. But if you go on continue to treat me like this. You are so unfair. Have you ever give me the chance to fix everything when 
i screw up? It was always me who gave you the chance, but you took it for granted and 
put the blame on me instead! And when that happens, arguments broke, fight happens but it won't be long cause you know i cant live without texting you, thinking bout you and talk about you. You know that!
It was my weakest point that you have discovered. But for now, i am gonna pull myself up. 
Be like the way i used to be. Before i met you. Before all these things happen. And before we ever talked to each other. Probably i miss you at first.. but then, i do think i can survive without your shield around me.
I have to let go whats not mine. And may you be happy with all the sorrows you gave me. 
The time that I've wasted. And all the bullshit and crappy promises you gave me!
 Don't blame is all i asked for.
All these while, i picked a star and put it in a bottle for you, but it was the moon you're after.
And i know all these quotes, i've given you before. And if you paid attention to everything i've said,
probably you know how much you meant to me. I don't wanna say I love You anymore 
because you have someone better who can say it all to you. You have so many people surrounding
you who could prove their love to you. Maybe it was me, who you cannot see.. The love i've given
you maybe..it's not enough. I gave you stars, you want the moon.
I gave you love all my love..the every bit of me, but you left me with dissapointments.
So probably, when I am gone, you don't have to wonder if I ever think of you.
I am not afraid of heights,deep water or love. I am just afraid of falling, drowning and a broken heart.

If i can live my life without you before we met, it also means i can live without you now.

I have my last say.

I know it's time to let go. Toodles!

Sebenarnya...

Aku tak kisah pun kalau kau nak lupakan aku suatu hari nanti... 
Aku takkan marah kalau kau pergi jauh dari hidup aku suatu hari nanti. 
Aku takkan menyesal kalau suatu hari nanti kalau kita berjumpa..kau akan lupakan aku. 
Sebab walaupun kau da lupakan aku,bencikan aku, atau pergi tinggalkan aku...aku tetap akan ingat kenangan kita. Dan sekiranya kau lupakan aku..aku akan tetap menjadi bintang polaris dalam hidup aku,takkan bertukar tempat walaupun musim berganti yang akan sentiasa menjaga kau, setia menemani kau. Tapi sebelum kau pergi untuk tinggalkan dan lupakan aku..aku nak tanya satu soalan. Kenapa setiap kali aku mahu tersenyum..kau pula membuat aku menangis dan setiap kali aku ingin merindui kau..aku akan kecewa lagi?
Aku pun tak tahu apa akan jadi dengan kita.
Lagi pun..selama ni..yang selalu cakap rindu sayang and etc tu kau..bukan aku..
memanglah aku pun sama..tapi selama ni aku yang make the effort... Kau? Sekali dua adalah...aku??
Selalu..aku jer...K fine..whatever...mungkin selama ni aku bukan yang terbaik untuk kau..
Maybe i have to walk away..sebab kau mungkin ada orang yang lebih fahami kau..bukan macam aku..
cengeng, kuat memberontak..kuat merajuk..marah kau jer...
sorry...Maybe it's my path to end it all till here...

Heartbreaker!

Honestly...IDK what's wrong with me..but there are so many unfortunate and heartbreaking events.
Many people broke my heart but why can't i break theirs?? Life is not fair if like that lah! Is has
always been me who have to be understanding. Okay the list of people who make me mad!

#1. My own sister!
Huh!! This one is really getting on my nerves! It's not that i hate her or something. But she always makes me cry! Duhh...For heaven's sake...can she please stop making me cry? She makes me cry all the time!
Well the fact that...i reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy love being ignored by her!! It rrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyy makes me happy!! well fuck that shit! She just makes me mad? Why?? Because she have no time for me anymore. It may not be appropriate but I know all the reasons through she may not know that I know what's her reason. The fact that i just close my eyes and pretend all those were not real. Yeah i know she's busy! I am busy too...but I will always make time for her! Just spent my fucking hours to talk or texting her! Or sometimes..meet her!! But fine yeah whatever..she will never have time for me anymore! IDK...busy with friends..boyfriend or assignment!  i may not understand..but please MAKE me understand! Fine..life's a bitch and then you'll die! Probably that's what I am going through right now! I may not be an understanding sister that she've been hoping for! I was busy too last year..as it was my SPM...but I have always made time for her!! *Sigh!! Not trying to sound so dissapointed am I?

#2. My mother!
You must grow up! Don't be so immature! That's what she describe me...Always...why can't she accept me for who I am and not for what I am not! Seriously..by asking me to change is not a good idea! Who was the one who said i have no character? I have my own character! You expect me to change! You want me to be who i don't wanna be! Is that fair? why can you be nice to other people's daughter? Why can't you treat me as nice as you treat them? It has always been me who's wrong! It has always been me! Why can't you reflect yourself and ask where have you gone wrong? Is it fair for you to put the blame on me alone? Is it? I may not be your favorite child. It has always been my brothers right? No need to tell me...I know! Then why do you think I can't stay at home? why do you think i wanted to go out? Why?? If you treated me like your only daughter, then probably..i don't have to be what i am now!! A HEARTBREAKER! It's not entirely my fault! Mind that!

#3. Friends
Well...they are great! But...some of them are good for nothing! I have a series of unfortunate events with them..but i don't really love to post bout them...eherm!

#4. Somebody that I used to know
Name...SECRET!

Age..same age as me
Gender...Male
Reasons? I don't actually give a damn bout him untill last year. But I've wrote a post bout him..I am tired to write a post on him again!
















And because of the...i turnes out to be THHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!!! I turned out to be a heartbreaker because i always get my heart broken by these 4 people! Why must you ruin everything? Have i did anything? k fine whatever! I am just as useless as any other things in the world! #GODIE! Bye!

TOODLES!

Domenique Melchior! And Zayn malik!

So...i just came across this magazine! Tetiba..i saw this YUMMYLICIOUS GOODLOOKING GUY!!!
Obviously he was topless! But who cares right?? He shall be my dream guy! Not expecting much! But he is soooooooo hot!! Making my ice cream melts too!! Don't believe me? This is his PIC!!

eherm nice right?? Not forgetting! He got six packs and a very muscular and a very tall guy!!! Ahhhh I Love You!!

Not forgetting..my sweetheart...ZAYN MALIK!!!

So there...all my sweethearts up there... Say hello to NUR RAIHAN'S BOYFRIEND..heee
Toodles!!

Darah aku panas!!!

Okay...so aku buat relationship status aku dengan kakak aku sebagai married macam kawan kawan aku yang laen.. Sebab da macam biasa...Hahahahahahahahahahahaha biasa?? So pastu mama aku nampak dia bagitahu papa aku!! Tak cam shial plak aku kena marah.. Sebab kata dia..nanti semua family aku tahu! Okay...tapi tolong ah...tak payah ah nak hangin!! Menyesal aku unblock mak aku dari facebook! Selama ni..takde pun masalah ni sumer! Pehal lah sial?? K whatever..so aku buat muka selamba badak jer uhh...

Aku ingatkan dah habis...besoknya...OH FUCK!! Mampos aku!! Pehal sey? Papa aku sambung membebel aku nak makan pun tak senang! Aku naik bosan doe! Ingatkan dah habis ah...sekali membebel sebab dia kata,dia tak boleh nak tanggung aku seumur hidup. Okay i got the point.. Bila aku nak kerja...dia mula fikir yang bukan bukan or paling shot pun..dia tak bagi!! Bapak argghhh!! Buat aku gila jer duduk umah macam ni! Baik aku carik kerja kat area umah aku! Senang hidup tak payah nak kena bebel! Bila tanya...papa kata...nak suruh aku kerja dari rumah...hahahahahahahahah aku ni masih underage.. bukan dia sendiri yang kata ke..anak perempuan tak boleh dilepaskan begitu sahaja...hah...lepas tu siapa yang langgar prinsip hidup sekarang ni?? Ni yang buat aku hangin...okay...sambung petangnya...kawan aku..allyz datang rumah..dia baru kena halau ngan bapak dia...fuhhh..sekali aku pun kena tembak....pehal sia??? aku harap jerlah aku dapat sambung blaja jauh jauh so that aku boleh lari! Shish!! Sebabnya...aku letak bnde panas dalam peti ais...wtf? mana lah aku tahu doe! Klau aku tahu..aku takkan buat!! Puas dah telinga aku kena bebel! pastu aku tarik muka...time tu ah papa nak buat baik! macam da tak sesuai jer time tu! Da ah pasal dia kakak aku diam jer!! pastu dia kata...jangan masak lagilah whatever okay! Ingat aku kesah?? Kay fine..aku malas nak masak dah! Bila tak suka masak...dikatanya aku anak dara pemalas...bila aku nak masak..dia tak bagi aku masak... Okay fine..tunggu jerlah aku reput kat rumah ni!! Okay fine!! Aku rasa aku nak mengadu kat kakak aku!! Lagi best!! At least ada jugak pendengar! Kalau tak..memang aku mati ah macam ni!! Haywire dah hidup aku ni!!

AKU RASALAH (MUNA AND ANA)

So habis sekolah kan? Tak jumpa kawan lagi kan?? All yes!

To tell you honestly..

Aku tak rimdu sesiapa pun,cuma rindu kenangan sekolah jer kot. Yerlah, buat apa nak rindu bila

banyak kenangan and kawan kawan yang menyakitkan hati? Yang baik tu..memanglah aku rindu..

Tapi kalau mulut macam puaka...perangai macam haram.. GO FUCK YOURSELF sudahlah...

Aku malas and takde time nak rindu mindu orang yang suka kutuk aku. *Bajet popular sangat!

Yang paling aku rindu of kozlah MUNA and ANA!!

Sebab dulu..mana mana mesti pergi sesama... Termasuk lepak perpustakaan..'PINJAM' buku...and

macam macam lagilah!! Sumpah..aku nak jadi macam dulu...

Tapi aku taknak ada orang yang suka mengacau and orang yang menyibukkan hal aku!

Aku ingat lagi time aku and Ana berkawan.

sumpah aku sombong gila. Perangai aku pulak tu memang macam haram. Tegur pun tak.

Pastu lepas 3 hari kot...baru aku tegur..bukan apa...aku cuma memerhatikan dari jauh!

Sebab aku nak tahu Ana jenis yang macam mana! Tapi orang macam aku selalu disalah artikan sebagai sombong. Jangan terkejut! Sebab aku ni memang jarang nak senyum. Kecuali orang yang rapat dengan aku akan tahu aku jenis yang macam mana! So i put my middle finger up high to those who thought that I AM SNOBBISH! Tolong sikit yer, don't judge a fucking book by its damnit cover! Cause you are not an author!

Okay...then,lama lama aku baru tahu Ana ni macam mana...dia ni nakal,suka bercakap,cepat naik angin,lawak,kuat merapu and suka makan penyapu(*k gurau),suka merajuk. Tapi itulah yang aku sayang pasal kau, ANA!! Sayang kau sangat!Kau ni sweet jugak taw! Suka tinggalkan nota kat aku punya water bottle,buku,and macam macam lagi! Kau kawan yang baik...selalu ada untuk back up aku! selalu ada bila aku sedih and nangis. Selalu ada bila aku perlukan bantuan. *Ana...tuari balik kau kena kejar ngan anjing tak? And selalu ada untuk kenakan orang ngan aku!! Kita pedajalkan orang bersama!! Aku rindu kau!!!

Muahahahahahaha!!!!!! Ana aku ingat lagi waktu kita periksa...selalu ada jer bunyi burung berkicauan dari kau yang meminta aku jawapan..Kadang kadang kita betul, kadang kadang kita bersama lingkup...Bila dapat reslut yang membanggakan..kita sambut kat snogurt bersama! *Tapi lepas tu kita gaduh...hahahahah.... Tapi tahu tak..tu kenangan aku yang tak dapat dilupakan.. Mungkin agak mustahil kalau kita nak satu kelas lagi...haizzz aku rindu gila kat kau!

Muna pulak!! Moon...aku rindu ngan kau!! Rindu kat kau sangat sangat!! Rindu nak balik ngan kau!! Rindu nak jalan kat taman ngan kau waktu balik sambil minum coolblog!! Banyak benda yang kita buat bersama!! Kena kejar anjing sama sama. Nangis kat taman sama  sama *time SPM kertas sejarah. Makan sama sama. Aku rindu waktu kita gaduh.. nanti kau jalan ke kiri aku jalan kanan. Jumpa kat tengah tengah, tarik muka masam pastu kau jalan depan aku jalan belakang. Bila aku marah kau...automatic kau tarik muka macam kena sepak 10000 kali...pastu bila aku merajuk...Kau and Ana selalu ada untuk pujuk aku! Pastu bila da baik,kau kenakan aku lagi *sengal punya kawan! Tapi aku sayang kau sangat sangat.  Aku ingat lagi waktu aku tolong kau bungkuskan hadiah.. Print gambar and beli sampul tu semua.. Best kan?? ==' bukan nak bagi aku...tahan kau belanja aku coolblog..heheheh....

Bukti ana sayang aku..sampai botol air aku pun dia tolong hias

ade beribu tempat kat sekolah yang boley diambil gambar..tapi tepi lonkang jugak pilihan kami

Muna ni..suka peluk aku...hahahaha sweet kan

 k toodles!!

Me and diet

Hey..i've been staying home like almost hmmm....a month..and i do think im getting fatter every time...

Yeah...cause the fact that...at home...aku makan jer kerja..pastu maen komputer... *bosan kan hidup aku??

Oh well quote aku waktu SPM habis "gaining weight?that's fine since I am not living that healthy!"

But FUCK!! I was sooooooooo wrong!! Damn!!Walaupun baju aku semua muat... tapi macam sarung nangka...Tell me gutys...how can you be attracted to me?? I don't even look good in my skinny jeans 

some more woooo!!!Bukan tu jer...asal aku balik rumah nenek, aunty and rumah sesiapa kat Singapore..kompem makan banyak.. Macam anak piranha jer aku ni!! Buat sakit hati...Hohohoho...

So now...i think i am going to go for dieting!! Shaish!! Let me tell you something..

Me and diet are never compatible.. I LOVE food. Which also means dieting and me...are never a good couple...SUMPAH!! But tu waktu kecik..so now..i m gonna try again!! Hahahahaha..let's see whether it works or not.. Kay toodles

 well i can't eat those for hmm until i actually lose weight...hahahaha...so i can fit in these type of clothes AGAIN!!

Selamat tinggal all my fav food!!

P.s: I am crying the hell off me!!

I am bored

Waaa... im so bored! All my friends are working.pakwe?? hehehehe..sorry lerrr aku da break up! *suka hati gila!!!! Nak cakap pasal kakak aku??? LAGILAH AKU TAKDE MOOD!! Mana taknya, bila nak aku...barulah dia message! Kalau tak...haram jadah! 1 haram pun dia tak message! Ingat aku ni apa??
Anak patung kepe?? Kalau taknak aku...cakap jerlah!! Ni tak! Menghilang jer! aku memang fed up betul taw!! Bila nak aku...tetiba jer boleh ada depan pintu dengan senyuman dia tu! Lepas tu...hilang!! tinggalkan aku lagi!! Bila aku nak marah, aku tak sampai hati!! genius punya kakak!!!

Okay hah tu luahan hati aku untuk post kali ini!! nak aja aku karangkan ayat untuk kakak aku...tapi nanti yang kena balik..aku!! Ni yang aku bengang gila ni weyh! Aku betul betul bad mood!! Suka betul aku dengan hadiah yang dia baru bagi aku!! Hangin hangin!!!!!!

Nah..ni lagu yang sangat fun and best and awesome untuk korang... Chiow