Thank you for everything.
Thank you for hurting me.
Thank you for making me jealous.
Thank you very much.
You know what, I treasure you so much! But what do I do to deserve this kind of
suprise (as you call it). And when you told me about having my replacement you can
still laugh and treat it as a joke. I pretended to be so unhurt and be cool about it.
Yeah I am good at lying because I used to be a professional liar! A liar is good in hiding their t
feelings. And that is why, when people hurt them, they just don't care! How stupid of me!
But if you see my reaction after reading your sms that time, you would know how badly hurt
and damage I am deep inside. Until now, I question myself, why do I trust and love someone
like you when you don't even feel the same way as I do? Am I stupid? Am I dumb? Am I a
dumbwit? Am I foolish? Am I an idiot? Or is it you who never realise that I sacrifice so much just
to see you happy? I can't bear to see you cry. But why do you always make me cry? I never
wanna see you cry, and i feel so hurt when seeing your teardrops. If possible, I am dare
enough to take over your sadness just to see you smile and laugh for the rest of your life.
Yeah I am dumb enough to do that kindda scarification when you don't even bother.
I go out
in the rain just to see you and I am willing to get a scolding from my parents.
I am brave enough to receive a slap from my parents when I hide the facts about me,
going to study with you and come home late. I am willing to lose my phone and my parents
trust just for you. And most of all, I am willing to lose my best friends, and my younger sister just to be by your side. And there you are saying, why should I do that.
Cause you are my elder one. Because of you, I lose them all. And because I am stupid
enough that eventually one by one, everyone is leaving me. I cannot guarantee
that you could be by my side forever.I can't believe that I am willing to lose them then losing you.
But guess what, I never regret! You show me and open my eyes up to see the world
and never be afraid of it. And to be with you, I am willing to do anything. Isn't that enough?
How much more must I sacrifice for you? How much people must I lose in my life for you?
Do you know how many people have I hurt and fight with just for you?
I can't bear to let people curse or talk behind your back. I won't let people talk nasty things about you.
And honestly, till now, I have always wonder, why am I crying for you? Am I that dumb? I
gave you everything, but why must you waste everything? You make me lose everything I
had in life. In fact, you even found my replacement who maybe to you, is far better than me. you told me
bout my replacement as if its a joke. Yeah a joke. Probably all this while, I am a joker in your life.
Maybe, I am a joker who does not wanna leave your side and I am a bloody-fool who does not
want to see you hurt. Yeah, I should let you go. Maybe, now is the time for me to forget you.
For now, I am going away from your life! That's the best I guess for you and me now probably.
But when you need me, I promise to be there, but then, I cannot promise to be by your side all the time
cause you hurt me enough to make me cry in my sleep. Just promise me that you won't forget my name
as someone who used to be someone important in your life. Promise me too that you will take
good care of yourself while I am away.
Kalau ada jodoh,
kita akan bertemu
kembali...
But if I am not back, be sure that I have always care for you. For now, I am leaving you in the care
of my prayers which I pray to god to always protect and keep you safe as my replacement.
Believe me! Goodbye is the only word for now. Don't be afraid to face the world. Enjoy it
till the last of your breath. May my sorrows be your happiness. The next thing you know,
I am by your side just to accompany or help you go through life. I'll be standing right next to you.
